So you can take that cookie, and stick it in my SLIT!

While The Undertakers past is shrouded in mystery, even less is known about his younger sibling Kane. What we do know at this point is that the life of the man we know as Kane really began when the fires of his brothers child hood prank killed his parents and left him horribly (see not at all) disfigured, forcing the behemoth to don a mask and red body suit to cover his hideously fire ravaged (see perfectly normal) body. Thankfully his chokeslamming arm was left un altered, as it was the families dominant appendage. Kane survived locked away for years in a dungeon underneath the house of Paul Bearer, a friend to the Taker family. It should be noted, that Bearer's house was perfectly normal in every way and more than capable of housing another person, but due to Kane's horribly disfigured mask he was kept in solitude, befriending rats. This is also where Kane discovered his love for fresh baked cookies. Possibly a throwback to his happier days as a child at home in the Taker family household, but more than likely because they were easily accessible through his mask slit.

Years later before breaking into the wrestling business (where he would settle his bitter blood feud with his brother via pinfall) Kane tried his hand in advertising, actually getting as far as a low budget advertisement for cookies. (his only and therefore favorite food he enjoyed growing up in the dungeon) While delivering the now infamous line "C is for cookie!" Kane botched the line by saying "B is for cookie!" forcing him to be fired from the project and revealing that he was actually mentally retarded. Mental deficiency or not, Kane decided that with his acting career on the backburner (no pun intended) it was now time to set out to destroy the man who scarred him for life, in the only medium he knew how, through the sport of professional wrestling.

To disguise his voice (or perhaps due to dried out throat from lack of milk with his cookies) Kane started using a mechanical voice box. He was immediately shunned by his fellow sports entertainment peers because of his unspeakably unattractive mask and was often heard saying "I apologize." to his recent offendees.

Years later, after their inner family war over the death of their parents, Kane and Undertaker realized they had been duped by none other than their family friend Paul Bearer and decided to form a common bond from their love of professional wrestling and start anew as a family.

Life as whole improved for Kane. He now had a happy home with his brother, a son in the form of WCW Powerplant superstar Reno, and a dank new dungeon in which to sleep in. However, it was revealed to him after only a few hours in the House of Ultimate Evil that things hadn't really changed over the past 25 years. The Undertaker immediately began lighting parts of Kane's body on fire, as a cure for his never ending boredom and need to maintain his evil status, though not in question.

But life hasn't been all bad. Kane has since befriended a fellow lackey of his brothers Gangrel. He's also gotten back into show business with his take of Limp Bizkits "Nookie" entitled, you guessed it, "Cookie". Yes it would seem the skies the limit for this young burn victim/turned overnight superstar. But there's a hole with a fat guy dangling out of it , so Kane doesn't go up there. ( this will be explained in a future blog )