Sittin on a Gas Bubble with Kevin Nash

Big Sexy, Diesel, Super Shredder, whatever you choose to call him, the undeniable fact is that Kevin Nash has become one of the major stars in professional wrestling. While many look to those who have reached the pinnacle of stardom as an inspiration for pursuing their own dreams, Kevin Nash remains an anomaly. In the following article, I will detail how Kevin Nash has achieved so much, by doing so little.

Kevin Nash is known as the resident bum of professional wrestling. Incredibly lazy, Nash rarely performs an activity that could possibly result in him exerting any physical energy. Despite this, his striking resemblance to one of the "gods" (a fact which will be elaborated on later) has caused him to find much success in both WWF and WCW. He first came to prominence as Diesel in the WWF, and immediately began to set terms for his contract. While the specific terms have not been revealed, it is known that he stipulated that he not have to wrestle often due to a recurring gas bubble. The magnitude of Nash's gas bubble was not known at the time, and many believed that Nash's laziness and strict reading of his responsibilities allowed him to do relatively little unless it said specifically in his contract. It is also known that due to this kind of loophole, the contract only explicitly paid Nash to lift his opponent during a power bomb. This discrepancy resulted in numerous injuries, since Nash would just drop his opponent resulting in many people's death.

It was during this time that he meant Scott Hall and began to use his new friends as entertainment. Hall became the universal luxury for Nash, performing many functions at the behest of his new master and receiving alcohol as payment. After joining WCW as "The Outsiders", Hall and Nash purchased a home from real estate agent "The Dog Faced Gremlin" Rick Steiner. The home quickly fell into disrepair due to Nash's laziness and Hall's drunkenness. It was at this time, that Nash's recurring gas bubble began to get worse. It culminated with the bubble popping in late 1998. The lazy Nash of course made Hall clean up the mess with his tongue, despite the fact that WCW had maintenance people employed to perform this function.

Hall and Nash's home continued to worsen, until it was condemned in 2000. As a result, Nash forced Hall to build a tent, and they pitched it on Kane and Undertaker's lawn. It was at this time that Nash's requests for Hall became more violent. Desperately wanting money, but too lazy to do even basic functions in order to earn it, Nash became more and more demanding of Hall. Therefore Nash would freely bet Hall's services for relatively small amounts of money. Some examples of Nash's request are for Hall to eat razor blades while sitting in fire so that Nash can laugh and collect a bet of $.50 as well as Hall stabbing himself while driving a car into a tree for $1.00. Unfortunately, the only way to keep Hall subdued was by filling him with massive amounts of alcohol. Therefore, all the money made by Hall for Nash, was immediately invested in Hall's alcohol. This never ending cycle has caused little change in Hall and Nash's life, and at the current moment both are frittering away their days and nights on Kane and Undertaker's lawn.