Ahhh Dude...What's up Brother!

Hulk Hogan has been one of the major forces in the world of Sports Entertainment. While even casual fans of professional wrestling are aware of the "Hulkster", his exploits away from the glitz of the ring are less known. In the following paragraphs, the secrets of the Hulkster's home life, his early days in wrestling, and his life today will be discussed in detail.

Hulk Hogan was born Hulkathen Hogan in 1953. His parents immediately noticed that their son was exceptional due to the fact that he leg dropped his way out of the womb. Despite this, Hogan's near super human abilities begin to get him into trouble when he perfected the leg drop at the tender age of two. The second victim, the Hogan family cat "Mittens", was sent straight to hell when the toddler Hogan tripped and sent his leg right down on the unsuspecting feline. Hogan's parents, justifiably concerned about their son's powers, commanded him to only walk on his hands so that his legs would be rendered useless. As a result of his parents wishes, Hogan walked only on his hands for the rest of his childhood, in the process developing his famous "26-inch pythons."

At age 19, it was discovered that Hogan had lost his sense of depth perception due to the overwhelming amount of blood that had collected in his brain from walking on his hands. The blood had filled his head (causing all most of his hair to fall out) and his chest, resulting in a severe case of jaundice. As a result, Hogan appeared red and yellow. The depression that enveloped Hogan only began to alleviate when he watched his first professional wrestling match shortly after being diagnosed. Hogan was so enraptured, that he immediately jumped in the ring, and leg dropped on the contenders, permanently killing him. When the promoter of the event, Vince McMahon, heard about what had happened he decided to sign Hogan immediately. When McMahon noticed Hogan's peculiar red and yellow skin color, he requested that Hogan join his promotion as "Red and Yellow". As a result of these events in 1979, WWF signed "Hulk" (his name was shortened to fit on the contract) Hogan to became an active professional wrestler. Despite this, many wrestlers initially refused to wrestle Hogan, fearing the leg drop. Eventually, many wrestlers charmed by his witty vocabulary, worked on bulking themselves up, and therefore more and more became able to withstand one leg drop (although, two leg drops was still fatal for everyone, with the exception of a certain dentist and a certain bear...). In 1985, the blood in Hogan's head began to affect his mood. Knowing that his diet was one of the reasons, Hogan undertook a strict diet of vitamins. The vitamins worked wonders on his jaundice, and eventually his skin condition cleared up. Hogan hoped to capitalize on his on his new found health, but he did not wish to alienate fans of "Red and Yellow." Hogan decided to compromise, and officially changed his ring name to Hulk Hogan, but kept his famous red and yellow ring attire.

Hogan's career skyrocketed throughout the eighties. It was during this high, that he met "Macho Man" Randy Savage. They both showed an interest in music, and Hogan even showed Savage how to play a championship belt like a guitar. Savage encouraged Hogan to release an album, even showing Hulk some of the recording he had made while he was creating the world. Hogan took his advice, and recorded "Hulk Rules", an album considered by many to be a musical masterpiece as well as the cure for the dreaded disease, cancer of the face.

As a result of this success, Hogan and Savage quickly became friends and decided to buy a house together. They chose a quaint little home and immediately set on decorating it in red and yellow. Over the years, Hogan's medical problems severely restricted his vocabulary and his hearing. He had a massive stroke in 1994 and as a result, Hogan was restricted to only a few words, notably "brother" and "dude". In another heart-wrenching note, Hogan's condition was put on display when he was forced to put his ear towards the crowd, just to hear them cheer him. Despite this, Hogan persevered, and today he has retained many words and phrases that he used in his youth. A few months after the stroke, Hogan joined his friend Macho Man and signed with WCW. While there he helped create the immensely popular nWo. The gimmick was highly successful, and for the first time in his career he parted with his trademark red and yellow. During this time, Hogan discovered a love of spray painting things. He used his new found talent to spray paint his championship belts, as well as his beard.

Hogan's new success in the ring was supplemented with the arrival of two new neighbors, Kane and Undertaker in 1995. Hogan took a liking to the two neighbors, and decided to try to offer them advice over the fence ala "Wilson" from "Home Improvement". Unfortunately his limited vocabulary made the advice little more than just random words in a sentence. It was also at this time, that Hogan's lack of depth perception also became more apparent. In a confrontation between Hogan and The Wall (R.I.P.), Hogan believed that Wall was right beside him on top of a building. Hogan screamed at Wall to "Come down Here!" Unfortunately Wall was miles away, and was incapable of acquiescing or even hearing Hogan's demands. The embarrassing episode forced Hogan into semi-retirement.

In recent years, Hogan has made only occasional returns to the ring, claiming to feel old. While many accept this explanation, there are others who believe Hogan now occupies himself with super-villainery under the guise of the "Red and Yellow Goblin." Despite this controversy, Hogan spends most of his free time living with Savage and occasionally showing up at the home of his neighbors, Kane and Undertaker. He still maintains his strict diet of vitamins, and has been known to come to the aid of anyone requiring his spray painting or leg dropping services.